Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Schimatics for Summer
Long sitting frostbite examins the full heat of sunlight. The eyes are prepares with squints towards a pianfully blue sky. Shapes are rolled around the mind in preparation for views of monsterous clouds. The grass makes its bed for the backs of those in peace, while the sheds itself of howling pain, and instead takes on its gental sighs. It all grew old by the time we came around. Bikes become oiled and ready for ride, while the riders take in the day and prepare for an adventure. It seems that at times like this people forget that suffering is over. Now we live again, with life breathed into our lungs by a cool breeze. Long live the sun against its enemy of the blanketing cruel gray. Beyond is what we look for now, in the days full of adventure. Nothing is wrong in your life you know...your just not observing what life is...now.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
In The Night
“Yea Yea Yea
I’ll Pay
When tomorrow
Tomorrow comes today”
-“Tomorrow Comes Today”
Gorillaz (Damon Albarn)
Wasteful hours spent with cracked red eyes and hollow breathing. Sad music pouring into my head through wilted ears. Soft voices telling me that it all comes down to this. A ceiling that never changes or shows me my future. Hopeless thoughts, they travel uselessly through my open mind like a soul lost to fate. Time, wasting away on a digital clock to no avail, its purpose forgotten to insomnia. Memories of nothing at all simply repeat in the present giving me brief flashback of what was always reality. The sun breaks into the privacy of the night and I realize once more that dreams were not truly reached, delusional night walks took control long ago, remember this.
With the beat in my fingers and the sad desperate voice of Damon whispering in my ear, I stand up to the morning and reflect; what is the meaning of this song, this sad poem that always seems to reach to no point, the one song that seems to have a dead end. Tomorrow comes today, the sad blues of one who couldn’t sleep; or the call to those feeling that life has no end, a continuous loop of madness; or maybe a summon to those with lost feeling that tomorrow comes today, so be ready and get ready to do something with your life.
For too long questions arose and swam in my mind as to what the meaning of the song was. Restless nights were haunted by the heavy downpour of the beat and the wind like lyrics of the singer. Already my eyes would not shut but this was different. I was tortured by thoughts and feelings. Emotions that had no right to travel freely through my head simply roamed about and reeked havoc upon my motionless mind and body. This song was a wake up call every day to the one who never slept. The song simply was describing an endless cycle. Tomorrow comes today, I felt the lyrics were telling me that there is no rest, the days will continue in cycle with an unchanging sleepless life.
I am called an insomniac, a day sleeper, weak dreamer, ceiling painter, and the sandman’s enemy. I’ve always been the one to wonder from place to place during to the day, halfway between a world of the living, and my imaginary world of dreams. I was left to my own purposes to wonder half dead amongst the happy, dreaming, and living. Instead of walking I float from A to B, and at arrival I wonder how it all happened, and again the entire process slips by my eyes in short scenes. For brief seconds I pray that it was sleep, but always I am haunted by the steps I took and again I realize that it was not sleep, it is regularity, its is worn patterns and steps that have been taken, and will always be taken.
During the night I experience a process those alive never have to experience. It’s my state of suspended animation. I don’t move, I can’t move, and all the horrors that dance in my minds eyes I can’t escape. The blanket and comfort of the blackness does not come to comfort me from the horrors that roll around before me. The spell is broken by the waking alarm of the voice, “yea, yea, yea. I’ll pay. When tomorrow…tomorrow comes today”. Again my mind wonders. I go from suspended animation to walking stiff, a result of the blood-sucking ghost of insomnia.
As I walk the world as the semi-transparent soul that the night has left me I begin to see meaning, a pleasant warm relief as to what it all means. The message was simple and sweet, and came to me during my travel from point A to point B. Warm life sweeps into the joints of my un-rested body. My bloodshot and pained unclosed eyes water to the message that has haunted my restless nights for the length of my life. Beware… beware tomorrow. The days travel likes ghosts, and you will never see it coming. Induce change, look for adventure, and create change today. You never know what tomorrow holds and you never know when it comes.
I realized that it all tied into shape. All my life seconds, minutes, and hours came with no change, and with no sleep. Tomorrow was a ghost that slipped into my eyes without my knowing. I created no difference between the hours of today, and the ghost of tomorrow. I felt the relief and knowing that a deed was done, that a puzzle was solved. The song played a major part of my life and for the longest time I had no clue. Every morning the song was played to signal the start of another day. Forever I feared the coming days, I shivered and shook to look at what tomorrow may bring. With no sleep I prevented tomorrow from every coming, I lost myself in an oblivion that had no end. The song simply created my false idea of the next morning, because I forgot and never again felt the grace of a new day.
For all my life I have been shielding myself from the coming world. I created my own reality where tomorrow never came. Never again would I have to endure what the piercing rays of light might bring to my life. Now I always know what is going to happen. I peeked ahead to the end of the book. I knew the ending before I even approached the final days. I cheated sleep, I cheated life, and I cheated the unknown. But within the same victory was held my defeat. For the punishment of looking ahead to the end was a curse of darkness. I was never to sleep again. Instead I was left to lay motionless and watch the hours of the night fade and fold around me with no pleasure of dreams, with no happiness of fantasy, with no hope for comfort.
The end of my story ends with no peace and with no comfort. I am doomed with own happiness to always know what is coming, and to never again fear the unknowns of tomorrow. I gave up the joy of surprise, the comfort of sleep, and the pleasure of waking to something new. Out of fear I buried my humanity. Forever am I left to wonder the sleeping night; awake, cold, and lifeless? I am cursed with foresight into a future that will never change. For me, tomorrow always comes today, and it always will.
goodnight
Insomniac- n. One who suffers from insomnia.
Insomnia- n. Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.
I’ll Pay
When tomorrow
Tomorrow comes today”
-“Tomorrow Comes Today”
Gorillaz (Damon Albarn)
Wasteful hours spent with cracked red eyes and hollow breathing. Sad music pouring into my head through wilted ears. Soft voices telling me that it all comes down to this. A ceiling that never changes or shows me my future. Hopeless thoughts, they travel uselessly through my open mind like a soul lost to fate. Time, wasting away on a digital clock to no avail, its purpose forgotten to insomnia. Memories of nothing at all simply repeat in the present giving me brief flashback of what was always reality. The sun breaks into the privacy of the night and I realize once more that dreams were not truly reached, delusional night walks took control long ago, remember this.
With the beat in my fingers and the sad desperate voice of Damon whispering in my ear, I stand up to the morning and reflect; what is the meaning of this song, this sad poem that always seems to reach to no point, the one song that seems to have a dead end. Tomorrow comes today, the sad blues of one who couldn’t sleep; or the call to those feeling that life has no end, a continuous loop of madness; or maybe a summon to those with lost feeling that tomorrow comes today, so be ready and get ready to do something with your life.
For too long questions arose and swam in my mind as to what the meaning of the song was. Restless nights were haunted by the heavy downpour of the beat and the wind like lyrics of the singer. Already my eyes would not shut but this was different. I was tortured by thoughts and feelings. Emotions that had no right to travel freely through my head simply roamed about and reeked havoc upon my motionless mind and body. This song was a wake up call every day to the one who never slept. The song simply was describing an endless cycle. Tomorrow comes today, I felt the lyrics were telling me that there is no rest, the days will continue in cycle with an unchanging sleepless life.
I am called an insomniac, a day sleeper, weak dreamer, ceiling painter, and the sandman’s enemy. I’ve always been the one to wonder from place to place during to the day, halfway between a world of the living, and my imaginary world of dreams. I was left to my own purposes to wonder half dead amongst the happy, dreaming, and living. Instead of walking I float from A to B, and at arrival I wonder how it all happened, and again the entire process slips by my eyes in short scenes. For brief seconds I pray that it was sleep, but always I am haunted by the steps I took and again I realize that it was not sleep, it is regularity, its is worn patterns and steps that have been taken, and will always be taken.
During the night I experience a process those alive never have to experience. It’s my state of suspended animation. I don’t move, I can’t move, and all the horrors that dance in my minds eyes I can’t escape. The blanket and comfort of the blackness does not come to comfort me from the horrors that roll around before me. The spell is broken by the waking alarm of the voice, “yea, yea, yea. I’ll pay. When tomorrow…tomorrow comes today”. Again my mind wonders. I go from suspended animation to walking stiff, a result of the blood-sucking ghost of insomnia.
As I walk the world as the semi-transparent soul that the night has left me I begin to see meaning, a pleasant warm relief as to what it all means. The message was simple and sweet, and came to me during my travel from point A to point B. Warm life sweeps into the joints of my un-rested body. My bloodshot and pained unclosed eyes water to the message that has haunted my restless nights for the length of my life. Beware… beware tomorrow. The days travel likes ghosts, and you will never see it coming. Induce change, look for adventure, and create change today. You never know what tomorrow holds and you never know when it comes.
I realized that it all tied into shape. All my life seconds, minutes, and hours came with no change, and with no sleep. Tomorrow was a ghost that slipped into my eyes without my knowing. I created no difference between the hours of today, and the ghost of tomorrow. I felt the relief and knowing that a deed was done, that a puzzle was solved. The song played a major part of my life and for the longest time I had no clue. Every morning the song was played to signal the start of another day. Forever I feared the coming days, I shivered and shook to look at what tomorrow may bring. With no sleep I prevented tomorrow from every coming, I lost myself in an oblivion that had no end. The song simply created my false idea of the next morning, because I forgot and never again felt the grace of a new day.
For all my life I have been shielding myself from the coming world. I created my own reality where tomorrow never came. Never again would I have to endure what the piercing rays of light might bring to my life. Now I always know what is going to happen. I peeked ahead to the end of the book. I knew the ending before I even approached the final days. I cheated sleep, I cheated life, and I cheated the unknown. But within the same victory was held my defeat. For the punishment of looking ahead to the end was a curse of darkness. I was never to sleep again. Instead I was left to lay motionless and watch the hours of the night fade and fold around me with no pleasure of dreams, with no happiness of fantasy, with no hope for comfort.
The end of my story ends with no peace and with no comfort. I am doomed with own happiness to always know what is coming, and to never again fear the unknowns of tomorrow. I gave up the joy of surprise, the comfort of sleep, and the pleasure of waking to something new. Out of fear I buried my humanity. Forever am I left to wonder the sleeping night; awake, cold, and lifeless? I am cursed with foresight into a future that will never change. For me, tomorrow always comes today, and it always will.
goodnight
Insomniac- n. One who suffers from insomnia.
Insomnia- n. Chronic inability to fall asleep or remain asleep for an adequate length of time.
Monday, March 5, 2007
the prodigal son returns
you know, forever it has been mentioned that there is more to life after death...well most people wouldn't suspect that its the life you live past 3 in the morning. i am proud to announce that this loving and stalkerish insomniac will be joing the great doctor in his quest for spreading truth to those who choose to read it. this is of course my first blog and i hope you enjoy the plethra of information that will soon spout out of the minds of me and the great drewbelama. enjoy all!
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